This day and age, those words may be crow in time but as it stands, there is a harmony unbeknownst to my past. It is comforting. Light. Almost like it is not there. Not held by rule or folly. Yet there is a respect that is like two spheres passing at the right distance to where they dance in each other's gravity.
Let the rest of the world fall away while I come and go to this happy place. The want to explore and travel is still present. To seek out the goodness in the world and exorcise the evil within. Not the evil of an ill will but the evil that clings to the passing when one marches through the darkness.
Most of my peace is found in solitude. My girl is the same. This is not always the case for me. I can be in a city like New York and love being amongst the masses as the shear number clokes you with invisibility.
Even though the home life is great the thirst for knowledge is stronger than ever. I must learn music. I must learn the art of fighting. Music to flow my inner voice. Fighting to ease my tension.
Now that the recovery is mostly complete my energy stores are lining up and as much as stored energy is nice to have it is even better when exhausted. As a side effect it keeps me out of trouble. Age has subdued the inner demon but he still lurks. He still finds a way into the control room to bridge the gap of the visceral electrical network.
Speaking of electrical network, finally someone has spoken of what I have experienced randomly for years. During times of excitement or joy or even sadness, that electrical sensation that boosts the body's communication network to overload. Of all people, George Harrison of the Beatles. Glad to not be alone in this and another quiet thoughtful intellectual would be a great choice for commonality. I will link to the YouTube video below because I will leave you with what I have spoken about for years in previous musings.
I feel it less as I age and the only hope is that as new and/or potent experiences present themselves that the feeling of pure "bliss" pay's yours truly a visit. Until then, welcoming the possibility of fatherhood...
I thought this was a closed entry but adding in that last video where George speaks of bliss reminds me of how saddening it is when people pass. My mother passed when I was very young and it was the stage in my life where I was beginning the sever from her constant companionship. I was a young boy that loved his mother dearly. I wanted to protect her from my Father and my eldest Brother.
On my favorite and most frequented online forum there have been members who have passed recently. Motorcycle riders. Adept ones with great personalities who have affected larger than average numbers with their larger than average feats. Regardless of their experience of doing battle with circumstance they succumbed to the halting of existence in the material world.
As a long time motorcyclist who battles the same circumstances daily and has to be above the five senses to stay alive it is only a wonder when eternal sleep may take me from my loved ones or even those I despise. When will your effect on the world be no longer. Sometimes when I ride the image of the end flashes through my mind even though I have plans to continue good in the world. Even if some of it looks or feels evil...